Hey Aries There’s dynamism and confidence in the air today, and even though you may be tempted to step off the ledge, don’t even bother to think twice about doing so. Just go with the flow and jump mutha fucker.
A yo Taurus, You can’t change who you are. So don’t worry about it, if people don’t like you… FUCK’EM
Psst yo Gemini, each time you exit a room, consider that you’re never going to enter that room again. So pass gas on the way out to leave a foul taste in the mouths of those that might be talking about you.
Good morning Cancer… Just when you think you have absolutely no energy left, lay your lazy ass down cause ain’t nobody looking your way in the first damn place.
Here’s looking at you Leo. Keep in mind that you’re responsible for your actions. No matter how much you might want to blame somebody else take the blame for that shit cause you can do the time, yo still young at heart.
Virgo please remember that you may end up turning people away if you don’t brush them teeth this morning cause you know damn well you missed them yesterday.
If you liked the first half of todays Horriblescopes please leave a comment either on Facebook, Twitter or WordPress and I will give y’all the other half of the Horriblescopes because that cheap mutha fucker Pj only gave me half of my pay this morning so y’all only get half of the Horriblescopes. ROFLMAO!!!